Im very confrontational why

Charley Reid from LovePanky. Most of the hard work involved in difficult conversations is related to preparing yourself and keeping yourself calm. Remember, if you can maintain calm and focus during the conversation, even when things seem out of control, you retain your power and help calm other people, too. Learn more about the positive effects of conflict and how to communicate with diplomacy and finesse in challenging situations in a new, virtual, instructor-led seminar: Managing Conflict and Confrontation at Work.

In fact, you might find that others welcome your input and agree to create positive change. Write down the problems you experience when you avoid confrontation. Perhaps you go home from work feeling stressed out. Or maybe your relationship with someone close to you becomes more damaged every time you allow that person to hurt your feelings. On the back of the same piece of paper, write down what you could achieve by speaking up: Your relationships might improve, your problems might get solved, or you might become happier.

Be specific about the things you stand to gain. Fear of confrontation is often based on false assumptions. In reality, confrontation is healthy. There are many kind—and assertive—ways to speak up and express your opinion, and doing so might improve the situation more than you ever imagined.

But confidence comes from experience, practice, and skill. And all of those take time. Great read but I disagree about bringing a friend with you to a confrontation.

It feels like an ambush to the other person. I think that could be a concern sometimes. My wife is hard of hearing so I have to raise my voice. Hard to say… But it is often the case that saying nothing can be more helpful than saying something just to say it. I suffer from unwarranted fear and am on medications for it ,,,, but, they still do little to stop this fear and i am having trouble being in public or around people ,,, How do i overcome it and get back to normal ,,,, Please help!!

Hey Pete, I would encourage you to work with a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety. It can be very helpful. As a psychologist, I see this fear of confrontation all the time, often expressed in little ways: Being passive or keeping quiet about your true preferences for where to eat for dinner or what to watch on Netflix.

It leads to unhappy marriages with low intimacy and trust. It fosters low self-esteem and poor self-confidence. It generates resentment and chronic irritability. Clarify the issue for yourself in writing! Specificity is the key to success when it comes to confident and effective confrontations. They have a vague notion or feeling of what the problem is, but have a hard time articulating the specifics: I feel hurt about what you said last night. I wish I had a more supportive spouse.

Nobody appreciates me. I wish my boss and coworkers would acknowledge my work more often. Could be people involved, different emotions you were feeling, fantasies that run through your mind, whatever… By forcing yourself to think on paper, you will get a lot more clarity on the real issue. But you can give your spouse a kiss a real kiss! Be strategic about the time and place of the confrontation When and where you have a confrontation matters more than you think.

If you want to be strategic about the when and where of your confrontation, ask yourself the following four questions: When would my worst time to have a confrontation be? When would their worst time to have a confrontation be?

When would my best time to have a confrontation be? When would their best time to have a confrontation be? Make sure you will be safe For some people, physical safety is a genuine concern when considering confrontation. That being said, if you do feel like confrontation is essential and there is some risk of safety, try to mitigate that risk as best as possible: Have your confrontation in a semi-public space think the patio of a Starbucks or food pavilion at the mall.

Bring a friend or support person with you. Be relaxed before the confrontation Two of the biggest pitfalls I see people falling into when it comes to confrontations are: Being overly aggressive or defensive in their confrontations. Being overly passive and avoidant in the confrontations.

But of course, killing and escaping rarely lead to good outcomes in confrontations. The best way to avoid either of these pitfalls is to try your best to go into confrontations relaxed: Punt. Deep Breathing. One of the core characteristics of a stress response is rapid, shallow breathing. Well, doing the opposite—slow, deep breathing—counteracts the stress response.

How can we make our confrontations as productive, healthy and effective as possible? Here are five key strategies:. Also, think about the ideal resolution for both of you. Would you be open to that? When might be a good time to talk?

Be hard on the issues but soft on the person - affirm your commitment to the relationship, and acknowledge what is going right in the relationship, as well as your view that a need exists to address the particular problem. Say what you need to in order to introduce the issue, but with as much care, respect, and compassion as you can muster.

Ask for feedback from your mentor on how you can open your heart and mind, and see other options and interpretations. Media Bias. Media reports highlight the education and economic background of the habitual offender, saying he's from an "upper middle-class family. By Saumya Kalia. Poetry as Resistance.

Literature has been one of the oldest tools of revolution in India. Stifling the activist's voice speaks to the state's fear of words. By Rohitha Naraharisetty. Sorry Boss!